Let’s face it: you’re an ugly bastard. People have been making fun of you since the day you had the misfortune of dropping out of your mother, and things have only gotten worse as you’ve grown older and more awkward. Without putting too fine a point on things, let’s just say you horrify women and frighten children.
Fortunately you can always reassure yourself that you couldn’t help how you were born. Denial and rationalization are the most powerful tools in your arsenal.
One day everything changes. Defying all logic, you meet someone who is pretty much like you (hideous), and you bump uglies. For obvious reason, nobody ever thought you’d manage to get laid, so they never bother to explain the importance of covering your jimmy. So now this she-troll is carrying your progeny, regardless of your feeble insistences that you can’t even take care of yourself, much less another human-like creature.
Take a look below and see what you have wrought: