An international sporting event in which the greatest athletes in the world compete for personal glory and the chance to assert the dominance of their country over the rest of the world.
Sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it? Sometimes it is, like when the US team single-handedly won the Cold War by defeating the godless Russians at ice hockey. Unfortunately the vast majority of Olympics coverage consists of hirsute foreigners dead-lifting comically large barbells, airhead reporters discussing the ethics of steroids, and lots of garishly dressed people waiving flags for countries like The People’s Democratic Republic of the Congo.
This is why most people choose to watch reruns of Murder She Wrote instead. Of course if Americans don’t support their track team by obediently watching at least some of the Olympics, the terrorist will win.
Thankfully, some bright young lad figured out the perfect solution: beach volleyball. Now we all know that volleyball isn’t so much a sport as an activity that people participate in due to a dangerous combination of boredom and alcohol. However, if said volleyball game is at the beach, there’s a good chance to see scantily clad women-folk tear-assing around in the sand grunting and diving at big white balls.
If you’ve had your fill of sexy, then head on over to DelSquacho and get your funny bone tickled or something.